Drafts of your manuscript are bound to have clutter. But what exactly is “clutter” and how can you get rid of it? By finding the verb, cutting repetition, and getting rid of “throat clearing.”
When you are writing,1 you don’t want to slow yourself down by trying to write polished sentences and paragraphs. (I do this a lot and do not recommend it!) In the writing stage, your goal is to get everything you want to say down in words. But when it’s all on the page, it’s time to go back and revise. One task is to cut the clutter.
What is clutter?
Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines “clutter” as:
…a crowded or confused mass or collection
Merriam-Webster online dictionary
In writing, clutter refers to words and phrases that do not help you communicate your point. In fact, they can be the “weeds”2 that get in the way of readers understanding your message.
Even worse, clutter could erode your credibility and make your readers distrust you: some people say that clutter is used on purpose—by government and corporations, for example—to hide information and evade responsibility.
How to cut the clutter
Cutting the clutter means getting rid of what you don’t need. So how can you do that? Here are three ways you can prune your writing to make your message clearer.
1. Find the verb!
Often, academics and development professionals like to make verbs into nouns. This is called nominalization. For example, you’d take verbs like investigate and analyze and change them into the nouns investigation and analysis.
Nominalization isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But if you do it too often, the text becomes wordier and less clear. That’s because nominalization also makes the action a little less … well, active. And that makes your writing duller.3 When the action is the verb, the sentence becomes clearer, by being more direct, and stronger.
| As a noun (nominalized) | As a verb |
|---|---|
| We provide a review of… | We review… |
| The group conducted an analysis of… | The group analyzed… |
| It presents a comparison of… | It compares… |
| Note: The verbs are italicized. |
What you can do
- Find the action. If it’s in the noun, then change it back to a verb and adjust the sentence.
2. Cut repetition
Another way to clear some clutter is to get rid of repetition, especially redundant words. For example, if you say “the round circle,” that’s redundant: a circle is round by definition. A few more examples (the part in brackets are redundant):
- depreciated [in value]
- [general] consensus
- [final] outcome
- [mutual] cooperation
Random House editor and author Benjamin Dreyer shares his excellent list of redundant pairs: “‘Close’ Proximity, ‘End’ Result, and More Redundant Words to Delete From Your Writing.”
Some other examples of redundancy or repetition:
| Redundant sentence | Where the repetition is | Possible fix |
|---|---|---|
| It appears that there may be a probability that improved health leads to greater support for taxes. | All the italicized words convey uncertainty or probability (the authors are very uncertain 😊). | Improved health may lead to greater support for taxes. |
| The project contributes to the SDG goals. | SDG stands for Sustainable Development Goal. So “SDG goal” would mean “Sustainable Development Goal goal.” (A similar example is “ATM machine,” which would be “automated teller machine machine.”) | The project contributes to the SDGs. [Assuming you’ve defined the acronym in the text already.] The project contributes to the Sustainable Development Goals. |
What you can do
- Look carefully at your word pairs and sentences and ask yourself if any say the same thing. (Check Benjamin Dreyer’s article.) If you find redundancies, cut out the extra word/sentence and reword as needed.
- If you have a pair of similar sentences because you wanted to express two subtly different ideas, try rewording to make the distinction clearer. (You could ask a colleague to read it and see if they understood the distinction.)
3. Get rid of “throat-clearing”
Just as you clear your throat or say “umm” when you’re warming up to speak or pausing for a thought, you can write fillers that don’t actually say anything. For example:
- It is important to note that …
- I further point out that …
- An important aspect, which must not be overlooked, is that …
- It would appear to be the case that …
- It should be emphasized that …
Sometimes, even “there is/there are” can be unnecessary:
| Original | Revised |
|---|---|
| There are many ways to explain this outcome. | We can explain this outcome in many ways. |
It’s fine to use these phrases in the writing stage; they can help ease you into saying the important bits. But look for them when you’re revising and delete them. It will make your text tighter.
What you can do
- Go through and underline or highlight the phrases like the examples.
- See if your meaning is just as clear without those phrases (most of the time, it will be!) and delete mercilessly.
See also more tips, such as using short words and short sentences.
Resources 4
For more examples and tips on how to cut clutter, try these resources.
Courses
- “Writing in the Sciences“: This Coursera course teaches how to become effective (scientific) writers. It’s geared towards scientists, but the concepts are applicable to any discipline. It’s brilliant and free (to audit). Units 1 to 3 especially are relevant for editing.
Books
- William Strunk, Jr. 1920. Elements of Style. In particular, read Chapter III “Elementary Principles of Composition.” (This is the 1920 version that’s out of copyright. Project Gutenberg has ePub and Kindle versions for download. Perhaps more well known is the Strunk & White version.)
- Ernest Gowers. 1954. The Complete Plain Words. Written over 60 years ago, yet (sadly?) relevant today as ever. The examples he uses will keep you chuckling. (The book is in the public domain in Canada. There is also a 2014 update with Rebecca Gowers.)
- William Zinsser. 2006. On Writing Well: 30th Anniversary Edition. He has a chapter on “Clutter.” Also see the articles listed below, “5 ways to declutter your writing” and “William Zinsser’s top 10 tips on writing well” to get the highlights.
Online resources
- Common Grammatical Errors: Wordiness: York University gives concise advice on how to avoid wordiness, including examples.
- Over the Limit: How to Reduce Your Research Paper’s Word Count: Clear and practical tips by scientific copyeditor Claire Bacon to reduce your word count.
- 5 Ways to Declutter Your Writing: The Thesis Whisperer (edited by Associate Professor Inger Mewburn, The Australian National University) shares five great tips inspired by William Zinsser’s On Writing Well.
- William Zinsser’s Top 10 Tips on Writing Well: As summarized by Arun Agrahri for The Writing Cooperative on Medium.
- 20 Clutter Words & Phrases to Avoid: A nice infographic from Writers Write on words and phrases you can easily cut from your writing.
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Image by Nino Carè from Pixabay
Footnotes
- After you’ve planned your document, of course!
- …as William Zinsser called them in On Writing Well
- In Style: Toward Clarity and Grace, Joseph M. Williams argues that it’s easier for a reader to follow your point when the verb matches the main action that you’re trying to convey.
- These are not in alphabetical order. The sources towards the top of each cluster are the ones I like best or find most relevant.
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